August 8, 2005

 

Dear Helen,

 

You asked me what the last eight years have meant to me.  It’s hard to know where to begin, for it sometimes feels that everything good in my life has happened during that time.  I know that’s not quite true, but even so everything good that was there before seems brighter and better in the new light you brought into my life.

 

I met you at the time I needed you most, when my belief in myself was at its lowest point after years of abuse.  You turned that around immediately just by being willing to love me.  How could I stay down on myself when someone as wonderful as you wanted me?  You have continued to love and sustain me through all the ups and downs (mostly ups!) since.  Your love has been the foundation on which I re-built my own self esteem. 

 

Even more than believing in myself, I finally learned for the very first time what it meant to have faith in “us” – a faith that we are meant to be together and that nothing can tear us apart, not even the fact that we both act like Leos sometimes!  I have never felt such closeness to another person in my life.  I have never been with anyone I felt I understood as well, nor anyone who understood me as well as you do.  Every new experience we share makes our bond stronger.  We don’t feel threatened by new ideas or new people, and that I think is a sign that we are destined to continue growing together eternally. 

 

Knowing I had your support has freed me to look for ways to expand my consciousness, my spirituality, and my contribution to the Universe.  I actually feel that I matter, and that what I do with my life makes a difference.  Your belief in me far exceeds my belief in myself even now – my greatest aspiration is to try to be all the things you see in me!  You are my role model, for the unconditional love you offer to me and to everyone else willing to accept the challenge.  I will always be grateful for the way you accepted my children as your own, and so willingly invited me to be a full partner in parenting Derrick.  Speaking of Derrick, what a fringe benefit he has been!  I thank you also for the opportunity to be his proud father.

 

On top of everything else, you have made my life just a whole lot more fun than it has ever been.  You have showed me there is nothing wrong with enjoying life and we have made the most of it together.  Anything we experience together is rewarding, if only sometimes for the togetherness itself.  Sad times are more bearable because of your comfort, and good times are ecstatic because of your joy.  Because of you, I know the future will hold ever more opportunity for happiness and shared joy.

 

In short, my darling, what these eight years have meant to me is that life is a delightful experience, and infinitely better for being shared with you.  Thank you for your strength, your wisdom, your joy – and your love.  May we have many more years together on Earth before we begin our journey together through Eternity.

 

All my love, 

 

Alan